Say No To Labels

I'm sure that people would feel at ease, less anxious and stressful if we all as a society didn't feel the need to label everyone. People shouldn't suddenly be labeled as a specific gender or sexuality just because society thinks this is acceptable and normal. I was thinking of all the different labels that exist and even though we don't nessicarily label ourselfs as certain things such as straight, gay, boy or girl people assume we are one or the other from apperance or who we are interested in. I watched a video by Dodie which provocked these thoughts into my head that just because she's always liked guys and gone out with guys she is attracked to women and would never see herself as being with just guys. So does this mean she's straight? But because she doesn't feel the need to label herself she is totally fine with this situation. I believe that we should all think and be this way because I feel exactly the same way after thinking about what she was saying in her video.

This doesn't just end at sexuality or gender but personality types such as extroverts and introverts. Yes I know I said I was an introvert in one of my latest blog posts I still have extroverted traights although they are small they're still there. Such as feeling good around being people because as much as I love being on my own sometimes I want to go out and chill with friends and maybe be louder than normal. So can we really label ourselves as anything because being labelled is resricting yourself from so much that wouldn't it be better to get rid of labels altogether?

I can't stand it when people especially people I don't know that wel make statements about me such as 'oh you're very quiet' because they are saying i'm very quiet all of the time which is not true. I can't even imagine how hard it is for people who don't fit into the social norm such as transgenders, gays, extremely introverted people or people with mental health issues because with labels come assumptions which are rawly true.

So if you are someone right now who hasn't discovered their sexuality or gender do not feel pressured in anyway to discovering it and telling people because you should not feel any urgency to let people know who you are attracted to. It's your body, your mind and your business and yours only. Labels are not important whatsoever, they don't mean anything. What matters is staying true to who you are and if you are not comfortable with who you are right now then change it or accept it depending on the circumstances of whether it will help you. When discovering who you are or you're at a difficult part of your life right now, only you matter at that point.

Labels develop unaccurate conceptions and false judgement on people who are given labels by society which is the people around them. They give no justic to anyone which is why I believe it would be better to totally bannish labels of all form however this obviously can't and won't happen but I can dream.

Basically I want to know what you think of labels and how they've affected you whether it's negative or positive, let me know.  

No More Negativity

I've been through a tough few months deciding whether to get someone out of my life and not have anything to do with them because of the negativity they've been causing not just recently but the past few years. So i'm going to give you my advice if you are in the same or similar situation because it can be incredibly difficult especially if you're really close to them.

Everybody changes and we're all constantly changing all the time due to the people we associate with, the environment we're in, situations that are happening at the moment and things such as alcohol and drugs. So it's completely normal that the people we are friends with and family change and we adapt to that if it's good change or to do with the situation they're in however when people start changing for the worse and drop you for people who don't necessarily care about them is when you have to think, do they deserve my friendship, or are they worth my time and effort any more? If someone can't see they're being unacceptable or even rude to someone they're meant to be close to then it's a case of them not caring and totally being blind to what is going on. There could be a lot of different reasons as to why they are acting this way however none of those reasons are acceptable. 

If someone you are close to is changing like this then try and let them know early on whilst they are not completely oblivious as to what is happening and don't put up with it for too long because they won't learn after two or three chances. People can be so convincing when they say they'll change and you mean so much to them sadly though some people, some being the operative word don't change no matter what. 

Yes this person might mean the world to you and when you think about telling them you want nothing more to do with them all you can remember is the great times you had together. You might have even spent the best times you've ever had with this person but what you've got to remember is it will never be the same again. People change we grow have different hobbies and interests and can't look back in this way. Nothing good will ever come when you compare times, people or yourself, EVER. The only thing you'll get out of it is frustration and sadness. 

The thing i found when this person wasn't in my life any more is i didn't miss them as much as i thought i would. Yes it's hard when you're getting your head around it and they're still pestering you but after all of that it gets so much easier. I really don't think of this person at all any more even though we were extremely close at one point and i never look back at that friendship any more.I just think of all the negativity that isn't in my life any more. Life is a lot calmer, peaceful and relaxed now she isn't in it any more. That's how i want my life to be like. I don't want to be involved in ridiculous drama and get drunk all the time that isn't me. I don't like alcohol and getting totally wasted. That just isn't me and i shouldn't have to give an excuse to not drinking, if you don't want to drink don't drink. 

Even though we have only recently gone our separate ways our friendship had disintegrated a very long time ago. Like no matter how hard you tried things were just awkward and we never really spent any time when it was just the two of us. My main message here is it does get better and please don't look back at the friendship or even relationship when it was really good. 

Being An Introvert In An Extroverted World

It is utterly exhausting being an introvert in a world where everybody wants and feels the need to be heard, in this world most people thrive off attention and social situations where attention is given to them in crowds of people. Being an introvert this would literally be my worst nightmare some introverts may even suffer anxiety and panic attacks if they were in this situation. No matter what career you go into you are more than likely to be surrounded by extroverts who are eager to be the best and use there personalities to charm people and are able to grow and develop themselves by being around people with similar personalities and interests. Introverts come across as very private people who reserve themselves for people they are extremely close to and are not able to let their personalities shine through like extroverts, this does not make them any less worthy or not equal to extroverts. Introverts would find jobs just as a sales person, acting, singing. performing or a public speaker extremely difficult maybe even impossible because you have to express yourself with emotion and connecting with other people. Introverts find it mentally and physically exhausting being around people never mind very extroverted people who use their personality in their jobs. Introverts work better on there own and will find they get a greater amount work done and can concentrate more by being by themselves in a peaceful environment. 

I need my own time to feel re energised to be able to face people whether that's at work, going shopping or meeting with friends. Introverts can come across as selfish because they might pick being by themselves instead of going out with friends who they haven't seen in months. It's so difficult for people to understand intros unless you are one because there are significantly more extroverts in this world and society sees being shy and quiet as weaknesses and as being vulnerable and needy however introverts themselves see themselves as independent, observers and private plus there are such things as shy extroverts and introverts who are confident. These are not weaknesses these are just different ways of living life so what if people prefer to do things on their own and very much step back from situations in which normally people have an instinct to step forward and say their opinion. 

The question introverts dread being asked is 'what did you do this weekend, anything nice?' and you are just stuck there hesitating figuring out how 'staying at home by yourself watching chick flicks' could sound fun. Especially with going out with friends is what most people normally do on the weekends regardless of this i get excited and look forward to having nights on my own, this is what excitement is to intros. Just because we prefer to spend time on our own this does not meet we don't need friends and like to be on our own all the time. We pick quality over quantity and would rather have one or two friends that we connect with on a deeper and more intense level than extroverts who just love being surrounded by lots of people most of the time. So just because we are very reserves does not mean we are not worth knowing because friendships with introverts will be some of the most valuable friendships you can have. We are the types of people that friends look for advice from and know that we will be there no matter what even if we haven't met in months things will not have changed and that friendship will still be very strong because the people we do have in our life we think a lot of. 

I don't think there will ever be a time where society as a whole will ever understand introverts and the way our brains function because there is much a minority of us. We are constantly being told that it is something we will grow out of and spending so much time on your own is not healthy or why don't you try and make small talk. But none of those things are true and never will be because there is evidence that our brains work differently. 

There are many pros and cons for both introverts and extroverts but what about celebrating both and admiring the different ways we all function.