Ever since i've left college last year my life has seemed to be at a standstill, at the moment the things i have to motivate me are a part time job which i'm trying to get extra hours at, learning to drive and writing in my spare time because writing is what i essentially want to do. The problem is i feel as if my life doesn't seem to be going anywhere because i'm not achieving anything apart from passing my theory test i don't feel like i've really achieved much in the past year. I live in a small town which means its hard to find something you want to do unless you can drive so at the moment i need to rely on my parents to take me places which i do feel guilty about.
I would love to do an apprenticeship when i have passed my driving test because i do love learning and i would also be earning money as well. i regret not starting learning to drive earlier because i would've probably found something a lot sooner. The thing about not having a proper routine is that you feel as if you don't have a purpose and feel useless because you have nothing to do that's why i hate not having more work, i don't care what it is i just want more work at the moment, not just for the money but so i don't feel entirely useless. Life becomes so boring and even though you can go out with friends more because you have the spare time i want to do something that will be constructive and benefit me.
Most people want to go to uni or have an apprenticeship set up and are able to drive but i've never wanted to go to uni plus i son't like the idea of being in debt most of my life. I just wanted to know if any of you are in the same situation as me? Do you literally want to curl up into a ball when anyone mentions the future or what do you want to do after uni/college? I just wanted to let you know if you do then it's okay not to know what you want to do not everyone has their life planned out, life is too hard for that crap.
Thank you for reading. I thought i would make a shorter post this time :)
I'm amazed nobody has replied to you yet,
ReplyDeleteI read this several days ago and decided to let other people better with words reply other than me.
Your writing is great, and I really cant see any reason for you not to get an apprentiship with a newspaper/magazine etc
personally I actually understand you, I never went to Uni either, but I was lucky in that I was offered a job after leaving college and had been in many jobs since then.
I have done everything from being a telephone operator (rare job these days) to a crane driver, working on roadworks, in factories and then getting a job as a mobile phone field technician, which was great, then I had medical problems and couldnt do it and become a bus driver
till I got deep vein thrombosis in my leg then couldnt do that anymore.
Now Ive been off sick for about 4-5 yrs and my day consists of sitting on tv, looking at twitter when I think of it, being on facebook loads, but mostly being totally bored and fed up
Because im no longer a "teenager" "kid" or even in my 20's people assume I'm incapable of having a decent chat, so nobody ever talks anymore other than close friends and they mostly work
Anyway sorry I went off on one
What I was trying to say is dont get yourself down, you do what is right for you, and nobody else
Your the only person that knows how you feel and understands yourself totally, if you want something go for it
if someone tries to push you into going for something you dont want then dont.
I have one regret in life, when I was 16 I was offered an apprentiship in a garage as a proper mechanic
My mum talked me out of it...
I'd love to be able to go back in time and do it all over again and I'd have taken that apprentiship because once your qualified you can go on and do so much more in the future
Anyway keep up the writing and sorry if this bored the heck outa you
thank you so much for the lovely comments and don't worry i'm hoping to go for an apprenticeship after i've learnt to drive it just seems to be taking me a while but i'm sorry to hear that you can't work and are fed up it must be so hard esp after working most of your life. i hope things get better for you and i shall hope to get an apprenticeship in writing when i can drive :) Your comment has made my day so thank you very much
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