What Is Consent?

After doing a blog post on rape culture and hearing the awful things that have been happening in the youtube community i have decided to do a blog post on consent and what it is. So basically if you haven't heard already a few male youtubers have admitted to sexually abusing younger girls after a few of these girls came forward about being victimised by these youtubers. I cannot stress enough about the fact that you must get consent before any kind of sexual activity whether that's just kissing or sexual intercourse. I shall link a few videos on this subject, they are all a must watch. 

Consent isn't just saying yes to someone who wants to have sexual relations with you it's body language, are they reluctant to do anything sexual? Is there any hesitation whatsoever? Are they being quiet? Do they look nervous? Do they look like they don't want to be there? Is there no enthusiasm or little enthusiasm? Before having any kind of sexual activity with someone whether that's your long term partner or someone you met at a club. You need to take all these things into consideration because yes doesn't always mean yes plus sometimes a simple yes answer isn't enough, you need their full consent. It doesn't matter how many times you've had sex with that person beforehand you must always ask for consent every single time for the reason that one day they might feel like it and the next day they might have no interest in having sex or any kind of sexual contact. This is why rape is so common, people in relationships may just assume their partner wants sex because they're in a relationship however this is not the case and more people need to realise they need to have consent before any kind of sexual contact no matter who the other person is and how long you've known that person. 

If someone says no after being asked for consent that is rape, plain and simple. Plus someone doesn't just have to say no for it to be rape, if they make any kind of suggestion that they don't want to have sex that also is rape. Just because someone might do it in a more manipulative way to make the victim feel as if it's their fault or their partner isn't doing wrong to them that is just as bad if not a whole lot worse as that is emotional abuse as well as sexual abuse. 

From my research i have come up with some information that you might not have already known about consent. This is information that people need to know. 

If someone, boy or girl is drunk they can't give consent so if you take advantage of a drunk person without them saying yes, a yes with meaning then that is rape. 

It's classified rape if she or he says no in any way at all, they might not say 'no' but if they're indicating it in any way, in the eyes of the law it is the same thing. 

It is still rape even if no violence is used, the person committing it could go to prison, get a criminal record and be put on the sex offenders register. Not only that but you can seriously damage someone from these actions, victims will never be able to forget such hideous behaviour from someone that they could've possibly spent the rest of their live with. 

Everybody has a choice in having sex, if you feel any kind of doubt you must realise that you have a choice no matter how much pressure you are put under. 

Just because you are with your loved one for the night doesn't mean you have to have sex, you can do kissing and other stuff and not have sex. 

Remember that everyone has different limits and your limit is what matters most. Don't let others cross that limit if you don't want them to. 

Make sure enough communication is going on between you and your partner or the person you're having sex with before and during sexual activity so that it's easy to give consent or to stop giving consent in a way that's comfortable, communication makes things more relaxed. It's easier to know that consent is being given when having enough communication as you'll be able to tell if they're relaxed and their body language should be more noticeable because that is a part of communication. 

Lex Croucher - What Is Consent? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2kS6Pdjjng

Charlie McDonnell - Sex & Consent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GVfesRwvsQ

Laci Green - WANNA HAVE SEX? (CONSENT 101)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD2EooMhqRI 

Sorry it has been so long since my last blog post.